I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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