the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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