I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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