When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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