You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
