Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
