He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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