There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
