ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
