That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
And then he peed in my hair
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