We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
