Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
