What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
