He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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