i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
What drink are we having for lunch?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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