I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
