just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
