One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's always time for handjobs
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
