I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Someone came in the potted fern
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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