My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
