Soap is not a condiment
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
