Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
