Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This is my gift to your gina
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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