i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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