weddingsv make me drug and hornr
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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