You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
3pm strippers are depressing
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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