listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
