if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
