Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
