This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
