He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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