we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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