2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
