I think I am morally bankrupt
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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