Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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