i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize