I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
