And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
