Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
