I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
