Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
