I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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