I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
