Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
