R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
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