Kiss
Puke
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
