Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
