Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
either way he was missing a nipple.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
