I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
