Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
