Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
